Ebola

Ok. So here I lay after another long day on the frontline. Yes, that is what I'm calling it now. Why? Because that is what nursing is. Heck, that's what healthcare is. There is so much in the news right now about this Ebola outbreak - not just in West Africa, but here in America. Apparently we now refer to an outbreak as anything that more than one person is diagnosed with. Yes, a man came to America and died of Ebola. That man was not an American, but that's beside the point. The real point in his morose trajectory is that he lied. He lied about being exposed to Ebola. He lied so he could board an airplane and journey to America. Who is to say he didn't lie to most of his original healthcare providers on that initial ER visit? But that's hearsay. What has been reported in the media is that somewhere in his medical chart from the initial ER visit, one nurse wrote that the patient said something about recent travel to Africa or possible Ebola exposure. It has not been made abundentlt clear when during the ER visit he mentioned this. 

Let me tell you as a nurse and as a person who has visited the ER on several occasions: Several people come in and out of your room. Depending on how busy it is, you may tell your nurse something and he/she may not get a chance to mention this to the doctor. They probably make a note of it somewhere and it may or may not get read by others coming in to see the patient. As a nurse, I don't have time to look at every single note written about every single patient in the 12 hours they are under my care -- and that's when I'm taking 4-6 patients. You cycle them in and out faster or give me more to watch after, and I'd be lucky to see all the doctor's orders within an hour of him entering them. And doctors? They have it just as bad. Heavier patient loads. You literally have about 20 seconds to walk in a room and assess a patient. You have to multi-task. You have to be glancing over a patient while looking at their latest vitals and talking to the patient. Guess what?! YOU MISS THINGS! It's not out of I'll will towards the patient. No healthcare provider sees a patient and says to themselves, "Man, I wish this person wasn't here." No, instead it's more like, "Oh, God, please don't let me miss some super important clue disguised as a common ailment." 

Now that 2 nurses have been diagnosed with Ebola (well, one diagnosed and one with presumptive disease), it is starting to open up a line of attack on nurses. Well, guys, guess what? That is the last group of people you want to offend. Nurses are a tough group. We throw ourselves head first into caring for a patient. Yes, a patient may be in isolation, but if I see that person on their way down to the ground, I'm going to dive head first and try to save them. The game of nursing is a fun one, at times, but it is also a challenging one. We are constantly faced with ever-changing guidelines and ratios. We come into this profession to fight alongside our patients. We catch illnesses. It happens. Don't make us out to be the bad guy. Please support us. 

Just as I will advocate for your mother/father/brother/sister/daughter/son/aunt/third cousin twice removed/you get the point, I need you to advocate for me. Just as I will remind you of isolation precautions, sometimes I need you to remind me. Remind me to don a pair of gloves before I take that IV out. Remind me. And I will protect you.  

Are you listening?

So some dude who used to work for the NSA leaked a "secret" -- Obama's listening. Now that I've mentioned NSA & Obama, I'm sure this is being read and monitored, too. So be it. I believe in my American freedoms. I believe that I can say what I want when I want. I'm not hurting anyone, nor do I plan to. I only hurt flies --- those things are annoying and I can usually kill quickly. I should be a fly sniper. That's another story. 

Anyway, Big Brother is no longer watching, he's listening, too. The Information Age brings about freedom of information to society, but also brings information to the government with ease. It is easy for anyone at any time to find out what someone else is doing if they leave an Internet footprint. Honestly, as long as you're carrying an operable cellular phone, you can be found anytime. 

Does this worry anyone? Should it? I can see the good and bad in it. I don't like that my innocent conversations can be listened to, but I believe it does lead to safety and security, so it's ok. Just don't come knocking on my door because I'm just an innocent bystander. 

Do I make you nervous?

What Makes You Nervous?

I know what I want. At least, I think I do. When I want something, I get it. If I don’t want something, I say so. I don’t exactly know what I want out of life, but I do know a few things. I know I want that “American dream” - a happy marriage and a kid or two. For this reason, if I’m interested in someone or, heck, if I like them, they usually know it. Recently, this has caused some problem, though. 

A certain someone that I am blessed enough to have met told me a couple times that I made him nervous. I’m not sure why. Is it because I know what I want and I go for it? I don’t want to say I’m hung up on him, but I do enjoy talking and had a great time when we hung out. I want more. He asked for time to figure it out. I am the first to admit that I am VERY impatient when I care about something/someone. I hate waiting. I hating being in limbo. Even more, though, I hate rejection. 

Unfortunately, in this situation, I figure that the more time that passes, the more likely the “figuring out” is going to mean “no” and I absolutely hate this. I want to reset, reload, and move forward. I don’t want to start over. That would mean forgetting what has already happened. I don’t want to forget everything, just parts. 

From there, I’m also left wondering what this means for life in general. Do I make others nervous? Are they just afraid to tell me? I do have a very strong personality. I’m not afraid to say what’s on my mind - regardless of topic. I’m also not one to get pushed around or walked all over. If that makes people nervous to be around me, so be it. I’m not a loose cannon. I can hold my tongue when it’s in the best interest of all involved. I will just make my thoughts known when timing is more appropriate. 

Now I’m left to ponder more....

Open mind, open arms, open life. Trust.

People often say opportunity doesn’t knock twice. If it comes, you need to take it or you very well may miss out. I live my life this way. I have been given many opportunities over the past year. Honestly, I’ve been given a lot of opportunities in my life, period. 

I am not ashamed to say I have lived a blessed life. In no way was I super fortunate - we didn’t have a maid; my sister and I had to clean our own rooms. God provided me with an amazing family, though. I have a mother who has always supported me in my ambitions and a dad who did the best he knew how. (We butted heads frequently growing up. Similar personalities, I guess.) I was provided with a car when I turned 16. I was allowed to do what I wanted as long as I kept my parents informed. If I wanted to go out with friends, it was allowed. I was trusted. 

God also blessed me with what I often refer to as a “beautiful mind”. (Yes, I say that as a broad reference to the movie. I don’t suffer delusional psychiatric issues, but I do suffer anxiety.) I was privileged to live in a city and be enrolled in a suburban school system which created an amazing program for those gifted, like myself. This allowed me to learn to teach myself. It taught me to interact with and accept those who were different than myself (originally this applied to age). This program allowed me opportunity to take only a half day of school my senior year of high school and co-op the other half of the day. Once in college, I had my share of struggles, but thanked God for the “set-backs” as these allowed me opportunity to meet more people, make more friends, and grow up a little more. 

When I graduated college, I was unable to get the job I dreamed of. Instead I got a job in a small town working in the adult equivalent of what I wanted - oncology. (My dream was pediatric oncology.) A year later I was blessed with the opportunity to re-enter city life, work for a big hospital, and have an amazing job. I still work in oncology. I still count my blessings every day. 

I consider myself a Christian. I believe in God. If you asked me if I was religious, though, I’d probably somewhat deny it. I also believe in other belief systems - Buddhism, Judaism - and the differences between the different Christian faiths - Catholicism, Methodist, etc. I don’t think one is more right than the other. I do believe God has a plan for all of us, though. I know to trust in Him. Trust that He knows what he’s doing with my life. 

I occasionally struggle with my relationship status. I am single (duh) and part of me does want that “American dream”. However, part of me is glad to have my own life. Because of my status, I can be more involved at work - be on more committees, participate in an internship - and continue my education. I am thankful God has given me the opportunities He has and I continue to have faith that one day He will provide the right person at the right time. Who knows, maybe He already has introduced me to this person. Maybe He has already placed this person in my life and it’s just about realizing it. 

I was thinking today of my "situation". I was thinking of something said to me about events that transpired recently. It's something that has bothered me and, apparently, the other person involved. It's not something I am proud of, but it happened. The time is over and gone. I must learn from my "mistakes" or, better, lapses in judgment. I will move on. In continuing to think about this, I had a thought pop in my head. 

My epiphany of sorts: God doesn't always give you what you think you want; He gives you what He knows you need. Face opportunities, challenges, and changes, then, with an open heart, open mind, open eyes, and open arms. :)

Why other countries hate America

A big news story here in Indiana right now (and I'm pretty sure nationwide) is about the Carnival cruise ship in the Gulf of Mexico that lost power a couple days ago. News media keep talking about how awful it is for these passengers to be "stranded" on this ship that supposedly lost all power. (I say "supposedly", because of they truly lost power, they wouldn't be able to steer it and motor it back towards America, as it currently is.)
A particular news story I'm recalling right now was one I saw on WTHR. They reporter spoke to a family member of a passenger. They spoke of this passenger like her life was in danger. Recalling her life -- such things as she was a cheerleader and attended college at Purdue. As the story progressed they kept mentioning "She's safe."
Well, duh. The ship is not in danger. The passengers are not in danger.

Another story, and I'm not sure of the station which originally aired it, talked about cooked food being brought from other sea vessels. The passengers were having to stand in line to get their food and, reportedly, those at the front of the line were hoarding food, so those towards the end ONLY got a hamburger for that meal.

Yeah, the news stories are focusing on people who are wealthy and privileged enough to go on a cruise all of a sudden learning to survive. Do these people not realize that there are many people in America who get just one warm meal a day? People in other countries who are lucky to get a hot meal each week? People who are lucky to get any good at all? Who count their blessings when they do get this? What about those who don't have electricity?! Who live in very hot countries and have, God forbid, no air conditioning?!

As a privileged American, it sickens me to see these stories lately. I can only imagine how other countries would feel...you know, if they had the money for electricity and a tv to watch free press!

What About....Love?

Valentine's Day is coming up. Yep, the day many people dread or downright hate. Why? Well, they're either single or in a relationship and facing the question of what to get their significant other.

In grade school we look forward to this day. In my grade school days, February 14th (or the Friday before, when it fell on a weekend) was the day we got to have a party and decorate brown paper bags with our names and the standard hearts. We then would go around passing out Valentines to every student. If you were anything like me, you would pick out your favorites to give to your friends and crush(es) or boyfriend/girlfriend. The day is fun. Everyone gets something. Everyone leaves feeling happy & loved.

So why do we become so jaded on the day as we get older? Probably because, as we get older, we realize that the only reason we got so many Valentines was because we had to hand them out to everyone - we couldn't just give them to those we liked. As we get older, we stop getting to celebrate the day at school and/or work. As we get older, the only Valentines we get are from significant others. If you are one of the seemingly few to not be in a relationship on this day, you feel alone and unloved. (News flash: Not everyone is in a relationship! It's okay!)

I still get some sort of Valentine's Day gift from my parents and a heart filled with chocolates from my grandparents. I wonder if I'm one of the few this applies to, though. I mean, how many 26 (almost 27) year olds get chocolates and gifts from their parents/grandparents?! (Not saying I don't like it. I love gifts anytime - themed, holiday-related, or otherwise.)

This brings up something somewhat mentioned in a previous post. I'm single. Yep. Have been for most of my life. It's not to say I don't date. It just has to be pretty established and must be exclusive to call it a relationship. I'm young. (Right? Someone tell me I'm young. I need to be young!) I have plenty of time for being tied down. I am starting to feel that need, though. Maybe it's all those around me getting married and having babies. Maybe it's my internal clock screaming at me, "IF YOU WANT TO HAVE BABIES, YOU BETTER START FINDING A MAN!" That stupid internal voice. Sometimes she can be a real B.

Little voice, internal clock, whatever, I have started to do something about it. I (somewhat) jokingly created an online dating profile on a free dating website. (We won't mention which one.) I did this because a friend of mine had met her last boyfriend this way (they dated a little over a year) and was supposedly continuing to have success this way. I knew I sure wasn't having any luck randomly bumping into "Mr. Right" when I would go out with friends. Well, said profile turned out to be semi-successful. I have a few new male friends because of it. Had some cool guys to talk to and hang out with, but definitely not boyfriend material. I decided to try a different site - one a different friend met her current boyfriend on (they've been together for about 3 years now!). Is this site a success? Well, hard telling. Haven't been on it that long. (Just to be clear, this whole thing (meaning from first site til now) has only been going on for about 5 weeks.) I have met a couple other guys, though, thanks to it. Still in a very early stage. Mostly just texting. An occasional video chat is nice.

(Photo from: "Five jaded tips for online dating - don't get Te'od")

I definitely am trying to go into this whole thing very casually. I don't want to put hope or faith into it just because a couple friends of mine have met great guys this way. I mean, a lot more of my friends have met their husbands the "normal" way - at school or through friends. Neither of those worked for me. I wasn't interested in dating when in college. And my friends are either guys (I could never see them setting me up with one of their friends) or girls with limited guy friends (especially limited when it comes to those I don't know).

So how does the whole online dating thing work? I mean, is it considered "safe" now? I have a couple girlfriends that freaked out when they found out I had met two of the guys and didn't tell them first. I like to think I can defend myself pretty well (well enough to get away safely anyway) and know when something is safe or not. I would love to meet "the one" this way. Would it be weird to meet this way and tell our children later in life that we met online? Will that be what's "normal" by then? Is it normal now?

I could care less about Valentine's Day - this year or any year. The only special thing about that day to me is that it is my anniversary at my job. The best anniversary ever! This will be #2. A true blessing in my life. And this year, part of my day is already occupied -- I already have 2 appointments scheduled for that day. Who knows, maybe I'll randomly get lucky. Maybe I will meet that right one. For right now, I'm going to keep on living my life being thankful for every person and every blessing God brings into my life.



To those of you in relationships: Don't forget to make your significant other feel loved on Feb 14th and every other day that you are blessed enough to have him/her in your life.
To those of you single like me: Don't forget to make your other single friends feel loved and included on Feb 14 and every other day y'all are single! :)

My Art Gallery

Here I am attaching 19 pictures. They are not of the best quality because they were taken with my iPhone in not-ideal lighting. I call this my art gallery because that's what my mom says it seems like with all my paintings and pictures up around. I love art and beauty and I love to be surrounded by the things and places I adore.

On the site I originally shared these, I was able to easily sort them by room (although no one probably even knew). Descriptions for each are below.

These are metal, sepia-toned & are from Hobby Lobby. 3 of these were among the first things I bought for my first apartment. (I would've bought all 4, but they didn't have one of them, so it joined later. I forget which one that was now.) This is in my living room.

This was my first "Wine and Canvas" experience. Did this with a friend. It hangs in my laundry room, because it really didn't go with anything else I had at the time. 

This is a painting I made from a photo I saw. It is of the Golden Gate Bridge. There are so many things I see wrong with it, but it was also one of the first things I painted that was a "real thing" that turned out pretty well. 

This hangs in my bathroom. I was asked to make something with these colors for my mom for her bathroom, and didn't like this for her when I was done, so I made her something completely different and kept this for myself. 

The Pinterest melted crayon experiment. You would not believe how many people come in my apartment and ask, "Did you make that?!...Can I have it?!" 

Fun with paints. I think this took all of about 5 minutes to do and is one of my favorites. It also hangs in my bathroom. 

Ah, Grand Central Station. This was the first thing I bought for my bedroom. It was a poster on sale at Meijer! I had been looking for historical sites for my bedroom and hadn't found anything I liked, until I came across this. It started a trend.

This is also metal, sepia-toned & are from Hobby Lobby. These were also among the first things I bought for my apartment, with those NY/London/Paris/Rome things. They coordinate well which is why they are also in my living room.  

A friend bought these for me after seeing my different "places" pictures in my apartment. These are black and white "stamps" from Ikea. They are of various places around the world. I framed them and hung them also in my living room, across from those first pics. 

"I Love Lucy"!! This is so blurry, but I can't not show it. I had a calendar with these in it and when that year was over, decided to frame the pictures. In my old apartment, I had all 12 scenes framed and hung on a wall in the extra bedroom/office. These are now in my kitchen. 

See description above. Obviously this one turned out a little more clear. 

My world map. I love the world and knowing where countries are. 

These framed paintings are from Hobby Lobby as well. They fit in with my Paris theme in my entryway. I found these by accident one day and absolutely had to have them. These are one of my favorite purchases from HL. 

Fun with paint. I began this with intent, but it didn't turn out as such. Many people express their love for this, which is why I keep it displayed in my kitchen. I am not such a fan. 

Two of the newest editions to my gallery. These are another "Pinterest craft". My sister and I did these together (hers is on the left, mine is on the right). We painted the canvas then taped it, removed a couple pieces, then spray painted. Once dry, we removed all the tape. These hang in my dining room. 

My most recent purchase. This was originally bought for my sister, but then I decided I really liked it and wanted it there, above my bedroom door. On the left it says, "Live Laugh Love" then has the "Dance as though no one is watching..." quote. 

The other newest editions. These were made in a similar way, but instead of painting first, I taped first. I then painted over the tape. I waited for it to dry, then removed the tape. You see the results. These are in my bathroom. 

These are in my bedroom with the Grand Central photo. When I bought that original photo, it was as I was trying to find this Eiffel Tower print. Once I finally found that print again, I snatched it up and then came across the one on the left, which is a photo of London at night. 

My fun painting. This is an abstract tree. It is displayed on this easel in my living room. 

I can't wait to add more to my gallery, although I might need a bigger residence to do so. :) Let me know what you like!!!